Badger badger badger
by Psychic Jack
Summary: For anyone who has seen the strangely addictive "Badger badger badger" flash movie, this is a more fleshed out story I made up for it.


Badger waited in the field by the tree with the large, red mushroom. Every fifteen years, he performed a ritual dance. He did not know where it came from, or why it should be done, but he just knew that his father and his father's father, and his father's father's father had done it every fifteen years before him. But they were all dead now. Only he was left to perform the dance. And his young son at home. He told his son, "When I pass away, YOU must do the dance. And follow the rules of it exactly."  
  
The dance was vey simple. He just had to bend his knees until his tail hit the ground and go back up. His arms also bobbed up and down. It made him feel like something greater was at work, and he always had to obey the one greatest rule of the dance; Never turn around. Never look back. If he did, something horrible could happen to him.  
  
So, he started the annual dance as soon as the sun was at it's highest point. He denced and danced chanting, "Badger, badger, badger..." to keep the beat. Suddenly, a sound came seemingly out of nowhere. It was a loud sound, and Badger couldn't understand whatit meant, but then he listened carefully.  
  
"I'm a mushroom! MUSHROOM!" It was coming from the red mushroom in the field. Badger was told never to look back, but he had to se why the mushroom was screaming. He started to walk backwards. Several times, he could have sworn he bumped into somebody, but he didn't want to look back and see who it was. None of the people he bumped into said anything, and they were nowhere to be found when he reached the mushroom.  
  
"What is it? Why have you disturbed the ritual dance?" asked Badger.  
  
"Oh... I... uh..." stammered the mushroom, "I just wanted to know what you were doing... is all..."  
  
"Well, I do the dance here every year." said Badger, "As did my father and his father before him. It's no mystery. It's a ritual dance. What for, I don't know. Maybe luck, but I hould really get back to it."  
  
"You... you walked here backwards..." stated the mushroom. "Why?" The mushroom seemed be asking a lot of questions. Badger figured he was probably just curious. It WAS an odd ritual, and it DID seem as though it was pointless. So he figured he should just tell the mushroom and get back to the dance as soon as possible.  
  
"I walked backwards because I am never to turn around. If I do, I do not know what could happen, but it might be very bad." Badger left the mushroom to go back to the dance.  
  
After a short while, the mushroom called Badger back again, screaming, "Mushroom! MUSHROOM!" as its call. Badger came backwards carefully, not looking back. IHe was less than halfway through the dance and he had been disturbed from it twice. He stood next to the mushroom. "I was just wondering..." said the mushroom, "why does your tail touch the ground?"  
  
"I don't know!" yelled Badger, "I don't know everything! Maybe it symbolizes my connection to the earth or something!" He stomped back to his place and strated the dance again. But almost as soon as he started, he was once again disturbed by the giant, red mushroom.  
  
"Mushroom! MUSHROOM!" screeched out the mushroom. It was as though that was all it could say to call Badger. Badger quickly rushed over backwards again. He was getting very angry at the mushroom. He had never done this before, in the other years. He just sat quietly all of the other times. Why was it so different now? "Hey!" shouted the mushroom, "Why do more of you appear when you dance?"  
  
"More of me don't appear!" exclaimed Badger.  
  
"But they do!" shouted the mushroom, "Behind you! Plenty of them! You should look!" As Badger walked back to his ritual dance spot, a large grin appeared on the mushroom's face, that is, if mushrooms can grin.  
  
Badger started his dance again. He was partway in. He thought about what the mushroom said. "More of me are behind me?" He wanted to turn around, but what about the rule? He CAN'T turn around. But the mushroom seemed to be telling the truth, so he slowly turned his head around. He saw them. Only for a moment, and then they were gone. He ran back to the mushroom, forwards this time. He had already turned around. If some horrible thing was to befall him, it wouldn't be repealed by him turning back around. "I saw them!" he yelled as he was still running, but before he could get there, a snake came out of the bushes. It bit him in the ankle. He felt the snake's teeth sink into his leg and the venom traveling across his entire body. It spread quickly. He kept running to the mushroom. Hecollapsed before he even got there. He was cold and dead.  
  
The snake slithered over to the mushroom. "Thank you," said the mushroom, "I needed some food."  
  
"Ah, it was nothing," said the snake. "When the ghosts are strong, the will is weak, and you know how many badgers my family has killed for you. What are friends for?"  
  
"Yes." said the mushroom as it released deadly spores into the snake's face. "What are friends for?" 


End file.
